我一个女人不能高潮——这是它如何影响我的关系

在每一个亲密的接触我有,我已经学会期望我称之为“不可避免的问题,”又名“你高潮了吗?”In this particular incident, it came the morning after my second encounter with a man named Calvin as we laid in his bed contemplating what to order for breakfast.

“所以你昨晚说,“加尔文说,“你真的没有有高潮?”“哦,我做的,”我说。“但不是从性。”There was a brief silence as Calvin stared at me, probably trying to piece together what he just heard. "Don't worry though, I enjoyed it," I added. And I was telling the truth. I really had — why else would I go all the way to Brooklyn in the middle of the night?

七年左右的时间中我一直在性活跃,我或多或少相同的和不同的人交谈。我重复了很多次,我曾经开玩笑地告诉我的朋友我应该携带名片,说,“是的,我是一个23岁的女人不能高潮。不,这并不意味着我不会享受性爱”。但即使我分发名片,说它不会让那么多的不同,因为问题通常开始后我告诉伴侣我性高潮障碍。

根据美国国家生物技术中心11日至41%世界上的女性,像我一样,涉及性高潮障碍。这是一个条件,在有人时发生很难达到高潮即使他们足够引起,往往比男性在女性中更为常见。有些人与性高潮障碍不能不管怎样到达一个高潮,而其他人只能在某些特定的条件得到满足。就我而言,我只能高潮通过自慰,最好是用振动器。

我第一次决定看着我的问题在大学二年级我的结束。我刚刚摆脱了一个极其没有成就感的关系性发生通常但从来没有达到高潮。我也不希望他们——我非常不喜欢这个家伙。然而,在分手之后,引入新的合作伙伴和偶尔的小时我会花手淫会产生高潮。做事投入到性健康网站和一个追求我继续有用性用品商店服务员让我买我的第一个振动器,使和平与我的“条件”。Yes, I had difficulty reaching an orgasm, but it was normal, and I was OK with it. The men and women who have been my partners over the years, though, they were another story.

这是在我意料之中,男性似乎更受我说,“没有办法你给我高潮,”考虑80%的妇女承认假装高潮至少一次在他们的生活。有一个前男友在西雅图两年前的夏天,例如,谁会问我每一次性交后如果我来了。我没有听到,他越来越没有安全感和不满。他的不安全感使最终的结束我们的关系。和跟过我的女人一般都更适应和理解,虽然并非总是如此。今年春天有一个美丽的女人热情地跟我去约会,但发现她不能让我变得冷漠尽管她最好的努力。她既不回我的电话。

我最终意识到,只要一个人拥有足够的自信,我不能高潮没有损害。今年夏天一个男朋友看着我学习后我不会高潮没有我的振动器,说,“嗯,带出来!”Another time, a woman at whose place I was spending the night rushed to the bathroom to wash one of her vibrators, came back, and triumphantly said, "We are going to get you off!" There were also countless others who made sure to check in with me multiple times during sex, just to be absolutely sure I was enjoying what was happening.

我最终享受卡尔文的公司,所以我们计划再次见到彼此。下次我见到他时,他告诉我,他想我曾经说过,他有了一个想法:“我认为如果我们可以帮你放松,如果你告诉我你喜欢什么,我想我们可以让你来了。”And who knows, maybe some day, we can.