为什么在有毒的关系(摆脱)是最好的事情发生在我身上

通过妮可易

发表在1/15/2017十一25点

我没有意识到我的关系有多不健康,直到为时已晚。每对夫妻打架,我想。但并不是每对夫妇出来感觉“哑巴”或认为自己“荡妇”或自我价值较低。这是因为一个充满爱心的伴侣绝对不会使用这些单词或者让他们的另一半感觉不到爱。如果别人不尊重我,就本能的保护自己。但是,当有人对你非常爱你,这是混乱的,而不是像应该是黑色和白色。

我花了大约6个月的关系开始意识到红旗因为所有的迹象从一开始就没有。它开始与迷恋期和其他关系然后蜜月期。但是当事情变得更深,所以做了侮辱,威胁,和控制。尽管他500英里远离我,就像我是在不断的监视。随机FaceTime要求看到我和照片的要求,看谁是很常见的,和地狱来的路上如果我是不可用。考试吗?没关系。在工作中吗?辞职。嫉妒,不信任,不安全感在他结束我们之间的关系的基础。 I was on edge at all times, on the brink of nausea the second I woke up, worrying whether it was going to be a good day for us or not. I was a freshman in college who stayed in her dorm because she didn't want to get screamed at by her boyfriend for going out.

他被操纵,可悲的是,我恋爱了。

我不夸张,当我说我们打架更喜欢战斗。他们强烈、疲惫、破坏性,长,频繁。我感到身心疲惫,日复一日地,直到我完全麻木。我成为一个专家在滥用没有任何反应,这只会让事情变得更糟,因为他不能得到任何东西的我。

你可能会想,“嗯,你为什么不离开?”Well, it wasn't that easy. We fought almost every day, so I grasped onto the days we didn't. The times he was sweet to me were enough to still make me think he cared, and because they were rare, they were more cherished and remembered than the daily mess that was becoming normal to me. Being long distance also made me miss him more and made me long for the monthly visits. The belief that love is a drug is no joke. It really can make you do the craziest things and put up with the most terrible sh*t that no normal person would willingly endure. After two years of school in Southern California, I transferred schools up north to be with him. But things only worsened, and at one point, I remember accepting that I was stuck. In the beginning, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else despite how awful things were. And in the end — four f*cking years later — I couldn't even imagine being happy.

我们一起从学校毕业后的第二天,我们开始我们的工作搬到旧金山。我不能忍受了一个战斗后,只是一个星期。我花了一个周末包工作第二天早上,我从不回头。不是一个干净的结束,但我最终出来的上面。现在我的生活就像什么,我从来没有快乐。

除了找到快乐,这里有一些积极的东西来自我的经验。